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hey,
here again with my random thought(s). i was just wondering, is it wrong for someone to chase for one's happiness.
its been awhile since i felt the true meaning of happiness. well, happiness can mean a lot of things. for me, i just want to be ME. not being someone im not. speaking of which, let me share something about me.
i teared for a moment, thats how freaked out i was. paranoid i must say.
some might not understand, so when they bug me about stuff, i tend to express my anger out to them.
its just me. i just want the best not just a mere okay.
when i was in kindergarten, there is this fat guy. everyone like to bully him. saying hes fat and all. he was so lonely. he didnt even do anything harmful to deserve such treatment. one day, i decide to talk to him. it was incredible, i made him happy. he is really a nice guy. imagine if your kindergarten life is as such. you would be dreadful for the rest of your life, thinking why people like to pick on you just because you are fat. there are a lot of reason why someone is fat. dont blame them for being as such. no one is perfect. you can be beautiful, handsome, slim, muscular and etc. but think again, is your life perfect? having parents that love you, what about attitude wise, do you have a lot of friends or just friends that are there when times you are happy and disappear when you are in sadness. if you have all, im happy for you.
i know who i am and if someone were to falsely criticise me i get very personal. i get sooooo mad and can go berserk. i feel like punching the person's face but its just me that i tend to keep it to myself and let it out in tears. i dont know how to translate my anger into something healthy.
these are some things that i would like to share about me. if i can think of more, i shall share.
had gym training yesterday, was awesome but TIRING!
i understand a new meaning of tired. tired in terms of strength.
OMG!!!~ after an incline light run for 20mins, i had to tone up my legs and arms. had to carry some weights. not that hardcore heavy plates but just the normal 1kg dumbbell. after some sets of weight training for my arm and leg, i was tired, in terms of strength. i realise that i can actually run but not carry anymore weights. i was pushed abit as i wasnt following my diet. ate a lot of junk lately and had to face the consequences.
its hard to make everyone around you happy. all my life, i tried so hard to be a good friend. i guess its just the nature of being human. some who appreciate and others, i dont know how to put it to words. in a harsher tone, others who try to bring you down. not sure of what the reason is. you never understand what im going through and dont add salt to the wound by saying things that you dont understand. i guess life is not about making people around you happy.
i thought there was something special about you that is worth being with. im sorry.